#shawleveryday2019 Day 55

This past weekend, I went to Nashville for QuiltCon. There were so many beautiful quilts and so many things to buy, plus I had some time to hang out in my hotel room or hang out in town. On paper, it was a great trip. But in reality, I was miserable almost the whole time.

Depression is a fucking asshole. It robs you of joy and turns everything into a major problem. Things like a sucky iron in the hotel room nearly left me in tears. I cried most days about something that wasn't going well, and I struggled to enjoy myself.

I really wanted to have a good time, but it was like there was a voice following me, constantly telling me "this sucks," "you suck," "everything sucks," "everything will always suck." Instead of coming out of the vacation feeling rejuvenated, I feel exhausted and scared and unhappy.

Luckily, I have appointments with my psychiatrist and therapist today and tomorrow, so I'm getting the help I need. I might need a dosage adjustment, and I could definitely use some useful strategies to deal with my negative thoughts. Things will get better.

Hiberknitting cowl pattern